The Best Part About This: It's Free!

The very best thing about this blog, it's free. I really just wanted to only say that and post it in a blog, but I kind of feel like I need to continue in some form. My reason for jumping out of the screen is because you are seeing me from the new and spectacular 3D television. A reasonable response to this would be "Twisted vacuums, Batman". But in reality, you cannot help but chomp down on the visual effects streaming across your face.
Now, I want to make sure I put in the question ahead of time that will have nothing to do with what you think it has to do with. First of all, does this blog actually make you want to promote randomness in a large scale or not? Why or why not? Obviously you have no clue what this blog is about, so why get upset about it? Second of all, do you believe every time I say I put up a new blog that a new one is actually up? Haha. Joking, Kelli!
Onto the identity of this blog. He seems extraordinary compared to the fiendish attributes of the daring villain who shot the parakeet. A few days ago, I was driving down to a capitol for a show to visit some friends. On the way there, I stopped at a nice looking eating establishment. What I did not realize was that these people were secret undercover operatives meant to destroy every thing I do and stop the reign of this blog. As I noticed the tall lumbering lady fetch the food, the demoniacal server was staring deep into the center of my forehead, bound to pounce on me with a plastic knife! Before he had the urge to just go with what he was feeling, the gigantic woman came at me with the food. Woo! (not woot...not yet). I just barely made it out of that tight trap. As I sat down to eat my food, I enjoyed talking with my friends. At the same time, the two maniacal workers behind the counter were chatting up a conversation that I could not help from overhearing. They must have been married because of the way they looked at each other and made small movements toward each others hands. They kept saying something about a secret weapon meant to utterly destroy someone's dinner and the rest of their night.
As my friends and I finished up our food, we start to recollect our senses and head out to the car. Before going, one friend takes a short trip to the bathroom. My other friend and I decide to partake in a chance to receive just one extra sandwich. This is where the action takes place. As I asked for the usual sandwich I asked for before without pickles, I waited patiently. That is when I did notice the rings on both of their ring fingers on the left hand. Woh! Mind trip. They both seemed pretty young, although they both had that evil look in their eyes. As it turns out, this couple knew about me trying to change the world with my blog. As many do not know because they do not read my blog and do not follow the blog as well, I have a secret organization meant to attack me to stop me from writing these blogs. Well, as it turns out, this couple had been in the group since the beginning.
Although the recognizable atmosphere shifted more to an ominous and dark side, I did not take notice of any changes. After getting my last sandwich, I quickly got outside to get in the car. As my friends filed into the car, I opened my sandwich wrapper. The first bite was as delicious as any other bite from a sandwich. But just as quick as a shooting star flying by, the second bite I took changed everything about the sandwich in the wink of an eye. Sounds magnificent? No! There it was. The secret ingredient they were hiding that would definitely keep me out of business for the rest of my life. The one and only thing I could not stand on a sandwich for some odd reason (because I like them sometimes, just not on sandwiches)...PICKLES!!!! The deadliest being to my existence! The one thing that could spite the benefits of my blog! Could this change the fact that I am man and therefore can stand a mere pickle on a sandwich? No! I am still man, but the pickles on sandwiches are death from (obviously not above) below!
My eyes grew wide with fear and anger! My friends stared at me as I freaked out as the pickles slid across my pants. For a split second, they seem like the ordinary pickles. After letting the pickles sit on the wrapper, I hear a sizzling. The pickles were more than acidic! The pickle juice was acid altogether! As the juice burned a deep hole in my jeans, I noticed my mouth burning at the same time. I quickly ran inside the establishment and took many napkins and gulped down two mouthfuls of tap water. The two spies noticed I had bitten into their acid filled pickles. They were jumping up and down in delight making sure I knew that they were behind the entire situation. Instead of hurting my enemies, I quickly rang out with a small cup of water and those napkins. Quickly throwing the pickles over by the building, I hear the hissing acid still making a bigger hole in my jeans. I quickly pour the water on my pants and wipe away any acid that was spilled anywhere else.
Instead of sighing with relief, I quickly drove away telling my friends why everything was going horribly wrong. I was so aggravated because of how easily I was fooled to believe that there would be no pickles in my sandwich, let alone acid pickles. During the past few days, I decided to make sure that there were no more acid pickles near any of my food. Actually, I was reading the newspaper yesterday. It turns out that the eating establishment was dissolved and/or burnt and/or exploded because of some corroding acid left near the gas line. Supposedly, two acidic pickles were the only thing left from the wreckage. The firemen were lucky to save the two people working that same night I was there. Instead of realizing that I was the person who was responsible for that, I turned to the end of the newspaper story. It turns out they were the group against me and my blog changing any significant portion of the world. Well, they suffered pretty bad burns and will be in casts for quite a few decades. Hopefully they learn from their evil ways. Let's just seem try to take this blog down again. Hope you enjoyed this important document. I will provide you all with more information on what this group is and why they are against me. I am still researching where their headquarters are located so I can look out for further problems that will arise. Do not fear, Alex Lang is here!

Wrap it in a bow, and leave it under the tree till Christmas.
It's a surlanglexprise!