I'm Eating a Cookie While Writing About My Day

What is it about people?  Darn, this milk is delicious.  I mean, I feel like lately at work, I have become the Red Foreman while at work while also working too hard on myself to get everything done .  This chocolate chip cookie is filled with caramel?! Thank you, Dee!  At the end of the shift, I can tie that to the rest of my day and balance it all.  However, I finished work thinking what a rough day.  I need to refill my milk. 
Why am I letting this rough time affect my entire feeling of the day?  It's natural to blame an event for ruining the day.  However, I liked how the rain was the most comforting part of today.  It was relaxing.  Peaceful.  So, emotionally balanced that I decided to read outside on the porch while the rain poured down. 
I went where I needed to go when I was reading.  While at work, I was not where I needed to be in my mindset.  It's tough.  No doubt about it.  Easier for some because they don't have to think about the details.  It can be easier for those who think about everything and overthink it, yet they found a system that works for them. 
Now the headache comes.  I want to keep writing, but nothing really comes to mind. It's amazing how I can be so gung ho right after the rough day and plan on staying up.  Then, within an hour of being home and eating one cookie with milk...BAM!  Headache hits, possibly about being tired.  Even though I am not really that tired. 
So, I might keep writing.  People reading this must be annoyed or upset because now they are reading about me writing every detail and thought coming out of my mind right now.  Are you tired of this yet? 
I'm not.
Anyone watch good shows or movies?  If so, would you like me to review them.  I'm not sure why no one really cares too much about these mediums when they are pulling the emotions and connectivity of people everywhere.  Obviously, there are incredible amounts of bad or terrible shows for the mind or just for the art, but we all accept that we have a show we like. 
Why do we have a favorite show?  Is it relaxing to the brain?  Does a show actually drive all emotions or just clear your mind?  For me, I obviously watch for the story and acting.  Great stories, screenwriting and acting can lead to a tremendous output and strong delivery of a message.
Well, I had 21 page views on 9/4 of 2016.  That's pretty cool!  You might not think so because you just want me to write about something.  So, let it be for a few seconds.

I left the light on.  I'm running away, and I think about leaving the light on.  Oh, hold on, I'm giving up on all of my life right now, but I need to turn around and turn off the light because whoever tracks me down is going to bill me so hard with that electricity bill.  Maybe that's a good thing though.
Focusing on something so normal can be the vacation in my mind I need right now.  In the words of the historically inaccurate, this ships going down!
My friends, the ones who know, are waiting for me.  Well, they should be.  They don't know anything about this situation.   Why does it matter to tell them about it?  It doesn't.  In fact, the less they know, the better.  I might accidentally get stuck with them for a while though if they find out.  Not because they want to help, but because they will be drawn to it as well.
My family will think I ran away because of my problems I've been having at school and work. My friends, if they never find out about the truth, will think I am running away from my massive debt.  It can be crushing, but chip it away slightly it can be therapeutic.  No.  This is not it.
Those classmates and workers who know who I am slightly might think I might be evading taxes or a crime I committed.  They might even have false ideas of who I am already and want to play out their own fantasy.  Luckily, I know the majority know me, but could care less what's going on with me.  I don't blame them.  It's going to save them in the end.
I need to let one other person know what I am escaping from, but that's my first stop.  He knows what's going on.  He warned me about this thing.  Of course, the hard part is finding this man.  Supposedly, this guy knows me better than I know myself.
Two weeks ago (yes a freaking fortnight - cliche), I was walking up the stairwell of the apartment and saw a note lying on the ground.  Looked like a scrap of paper.  I never really focus on trash lying around, but this one sparkled.  No, not like glittery wrapping paper.  Actually a sparkling shine to it.  When I picked it up, it felt like silk.  I flipped it over and on the paper was an asterisk.
The asterisk was in blue and red ink.
If it was not for the misleading look and feel of this piece of paper, I would have thrown it as soon as I picked it up.  There, at the top of the stairwell, I met the man.  More like my face met his fist.  I do not know what he looked like other than he had a very long red beard and red hair. Could have been a disguise because I was seeing stars through an opaque shield covering my eyes.  My grip on that paper was loose enough to let that strange man take it.
Once again, I easily could have just chalked it up to being a random attack over a strange piece of paper.  Why chase after him?  Why go after the mysterious blue/red asterisk on a mysterious paper scrap?
Simple, two weeks pure torture. 

To be continued....

I'm Writing About Me Today

I hope you don't mind, but I would like to write a little about my own thoughts today. Although, basically all of my writing comes my very own nerve center, I still like to be a little transparent if I can. Like the character in the first part of the story, I think too much. Sitting here typing this up, I understand little of my own writing style and technique.

Sure, I could sit down and research. I could even take some time to read grammar/language arts textbooks, websites, etc. just to maybe, if any, improve on my own writing. I have these positive thoughts that I could write everyday. Improve by doing. Explore different themes in every blog. Understand my style of writing. Obviously, I would have to dedicate my time to this. Not only this, but a far greater majority than I have been. Do not get me wrong. I could do it.

Work and the non-profit group I help with are not really getting in the way in the slightest. If anything, it is my own understanding of relaxation and rewarding it to myself. When it comes to work and the non-profit group, I work hard and do everything I can to help with it when they do not conflict with each other anymore. That usually brings me to try to relax when I have free time.

My relaxation time has become more of a burden of waste. Some watch Netflix, movies,and tv shows. Some read. Some play video games. Some just sit and listen to music. I, myself, try to cram all of these things into my relaxation time. If anything is stressing me out, it might just be too much relaxation. Or in the best sense of what's wrong, the negative associations and types of relaxation that I indulge myself are what is stressing me out.

 I know I should not watch all these shows, movies, playing video games, and reading all these books at once. They are not always the healthiest of stress relievers. I would like to exercise more and get into that routine. I would like to write more, create videos, edit videos, etc. However, this pulls me out of my routine of trying to do my relaxation routine for the past few years. I need to break this old routine and start something fresh, new and exciting. It will pump me up and boost my mood tremendously. I know that much.

When I see that what I love to do is create, I think to myself why I am not doing that on every free minute that I have outside of the non-profit org and work. My mindset needs to get better. I might be giving up viewing some shows and movies. I might be giving up on some classic video game play.  I will continue to read and start to exercise for sure. But for the long run, I can only see something more positive and rewarding from myself writing more, even if it might be a little note everyday, or reading more within the craft. Plus, from this can come ideas that others might see and want to share with myself and others.

Maybe, I might even get noticed for my writing or at least my ideas. Then, the video creations could come as long as I have partners in crime that want to make funny, wacky, maybe dry or serious videos. I need more than friends, but a group of people who are interested in just collaborating and creating videos for the sake of creation and not strictly any financial or reputation gain. I know there are groups, but sometimes it seems like I could do more if I share these posts. These blogs with others. Sharing my interests, my thoughts, stories, ideas, and unlimited potential of imagination, I feel like that is how I need to start this journey.

I will not be displeased if this leads to me writing part time even. I would love to receive compensation, no matter how little (okay, not a penny per post), to continue something that I find joy and relaxation in doing. This might be a confessional. This could definitely be a way to have others that actually do read my posts to give me honest feedback on how I should write, where I should be posting or ideas of how to consistently stay on the positive side of this argument I have with myself everyday.

I want to write. I want to share. Let me know what your thoughts are on it and above all, share.