The Best Part About This: It's Free!

The very best thing about this blog, it's free. I really just wanted to only say that and post it in a blog, but I kind of feel like I need to continue in some form. My reason for jumping out of the screen is because you are seeing me from the new and spectacular 3D television. A reasonable response to this would be "Twisted vacuums, Batman". But in reality, you cannot help but chomp down on the visual effects streaming across your face.
Now, I want to make sure I put in the question ahead of time that will have nothing to do with what you think it has to do with. First of all, does this blog actually make you want to promote randomness in a large scale or not? Why or why not? Obviously you have no clue what this blog is about, so why get upset about it? Second of all, do you believe every time I say I put up a new blog that a new one is actually up? Haha. Joking, Kelli!
Onto the identity of this blog. He seems extraordinary compared to the fiendish attributes of the daring villain who shot the parakeet. A few days ago, I was driving down to a capitol for a show to visit some friends. On the way there, I stopped at a nice looking eating establishment. What I did not realize was that these people were secret undercover operatives meant to destroy every thing I do and stop the reign of this blog. As I noticed the tall lumbering lady fetch the food, the demoniacal server was staring deep into the center of my forehead, bound to pounce on me with a plastic knife! Before he had the urge to just go with what he was feeling, the gigantic woman came at me with the food. Woo! (not woot...not yet). I just barely made it out of that tight trap. As I sat down to eat my food, I enjoyed talking with my friends. At the same time, the two maniacal workers behind the counter were chatting up a conversation that I could not help from overhearing. They must have been married because of the way they looked at each other and made small movements toward each others hands. They kept saying something about a secret weapon meant to utterly destroy someone's dinner and the rest of their night.
As my friends and I finished up our food, we start to recollect our senses and head out to the car. Before going, one friend takes a short trip to the bathroom. My other friend and I decide to partake in a chance to receive just one extra sandwich. This is where the action takes place. As I asked for the usual sandwich I asked for before without pickles, I waited patiently. That is when I did notice the rings on both of their ring fingers on the left hand. Woh! Mind trip. They both seemed pretty young, although they both had that evil look in their eyes. As it turns out, this couple knew about me trying to change the world with my blog. As many do not know because they do not read my blog and do not follow the blog as well, I have a secret organization meant to attack me to stop me from writing these blogs. Well, as it turns out, this couple had been in the group since the beginning.
Although the recognizable atmosphere shifted more to an ominous and dark side, I did not take notice of any changes. After getting my last sandwich, I quickly got outside to get in the car. As my friends filed into the car, I opened my sandwich wrapper. The first bite was as delicious as any other bite from a sandwich. But just as quick as a shooting star flying by, the second bite I took changed everything about the sandwich in the wink of an eye. Sounds magnificent? No! There it was. The secret ingredient they were hiding that would definitely keep me out of business for the rest of my life. The one and only thing I could not stand on a sandwich for some odd reason (because I like them sometimes, just not on sandwiches)...PICKLES!!!! The deadliest being to my existence! The one thing that could spite the benefits of my blog! Could this change the fact that I am man and therefore can stand a mere pickle on a sandwich? No! I am still man, but the pickles on sandwiches are death from (obviously not above) below!
My eyes grew wide with fear and anger! My friends stared at me as I freaked out as the pickles slid across my pants. For a split second, they seem like the ordinary pickles. After letting the pickles sit on the wrapper, I hear a sizzling. The pickles were more than acidic! The pickle juice was acid altogether! As the juice burned a deep hole in my jeans, I noticed my mouth burning at the same time. I quickly ran inside the establishment and took many napkins and gulped down two mouthfuls of tap water. The two spies noticed I had bitten into their acid filled pickles. They were jumping up and down in delight making sure I knew that they were behind the entire situation. Instead of hurting my enemies, I quickly rang out with a small cup of water and those napkins. Quickly throwing the pickles over by the building, I hear the hissing acid still making a bigger hole in my jeans. I quickly pour the water on my pants and wipe away any acid that was spilled anywhere else.
Instead of sighing with relief, I quickly drove away telling my friends why everything was going horribly wrong. I was so aggravated because of how easily I was fooled to believe that there would be no pickles in my sandwich, let alone acid pickles. During the past few days, I decided to make sure that there were no more acid pickles near any of my food. Actually, I was reading the newspaper yesterday. It turns out that the eating establishment was dissolved and/or burnt and/or exploded because of some corroding acid left near the gas line. Supposedly, two acidic pickles were the only thing left from the wreckage. The firemen were lucky to save the two people working that same night I was there. Instead of realizing that I was the person who was responsible for that, I turned to the end of the newspaper story. It turns out they were the group against me and my blog changing any significant portion of the world. Well, they suffered pretty bad burns and will be in casts for quite a few decades. Hopefully they learn from their evil ways. Let's just seem try to take this blog down again. Hope you enjoyed this important document. I will provide you all with more information on what this group is and why they are against me. I am still researching where their headquarters are located so I can look out for further problems that will arise. Do not fear, Alex Lang is here!

Wrap it in a bow, and leave it under the tree till Christmas.
It's a surlanglexprise!

As Many Didn't Notice...

One more thing to add to the previous blog post that you should read before reading this one. You can take your time. *Waits patiently on the edge of a cliff* Had the time? Oh, just a couple more minutes? Ok! I can wait a few more seconds. *Stands on the tip of the edge of the cliff, peering over the side - somewhat patient* Ok. Ready? Still not yet? Are you not a speed reader? Really? Fine. I guess I can wait till you respond back after you have finished the other blog post. *Teetering impatiently on the tiniest protrusion on the side of the cliff* Oh, come on! You have had enough time. As the most dedicated followers know, I have no obvious question for you on that post, so here it is.
What do you think I am going to say after jumping off this cliff? What is at the bottom of the cliff? How would you react if you had to jump off a cliff without knowing what was at the bottom waiting for you? Ever had a moment in your life that felt like this?
Well, to give you an answer to the first question, I am going to say *slips off the edge and falls deeper and deeper into the unknown destination known as the ground*, that I feel very *voice trails off because you do not want to jump down after me to hear the rest of what I was going to say, so you have to guess*

Thanks in advance for the comments. I know you will enjoy this question.

Trespassers beware! I am Duke of Lang. Accompanied by the alternative dimension in the 11th quadrant.

Although You Already Know: More Followers=More Fun

So, what do I have to do to make this statement a fact? I need to promote the blog a little further than just a few checks on my group settings. I have already made a Facebook group made just for people willing to check out this blog. Hopefully the people I contacted could obviously take some interest in something they do not think about day to day or second to second. Woh! I think I did something totally out of line, but I did it to promote this blog and what I say. Is there any other way to do it? I sent a message to the 245 out of the 1,900 people I asked to join the group supporting this group. Call me crazy, but if only 45 respond back by becoming followers, they have made the second step possible. Soon, this blog will be known in a wider range of ages and demographics and locales across this state. Then, across the region. Then, across the nation. Then, across the continent. But of course, the world is a large scale, but why not keep it on the list. Some kind of nature, some kind of soul. It all makes sense to me that everything you see is completely different in my eyes. Everything done to me and everything I have done in the past is all added up into this one spectacular moment that no one actually realizes: this second, and the next second, and so on and so on. It is the present. It all reacts in accordance with the emotions I have portrayed to every action taken towards me, whether they be direct or indirect. But all you know is that I have experienced it. You never took the time to realize the emotion of an individual in that situation. Of course, you can only make an assumption based on these non-supportive facts. In addition to this, you thought you could take a step into the other person's shoes! Woh! Role reversal. You must be, like, a super psychologist. Way to go on solving the mystery. Unfortunately, role reversal is not the proper direction unless it is utilized to the fullest. If you have no clue what I am saying, don't raise your hand with the only pinky on it. So, now that all of you have raised your hands, I see the importance of telling you all this. Track the emotions of the person and then use them on specific events that happened in their life. Then combine that previous knowledge and the study just concocted to navigate which direction to step in the shoes of the person you are dealing with.
Wow...had that on my mind for a while. Especially since I was just studying those emotional bonds that need to be set up for just a basis of respect. did you just realize that I did not capitalize the first letter of this sentence? I did not know you could read so fast. You know, if you read faster than I type, then all you see is blank space for a few seconds















But if there is a longer space, then you obviously surpassed this blog and just kept on reading to the next one.

Congratulations,
Alex Lang

To follow this blog, do not click here.
Click somewhere else.

So the next part is a big long space.
Why?











































Because, obviously, it is the end of this blog. (Speed readers...psh)

Woops! Has it Been that Long! Really?!

As most of you might know (since there are only two followers *ahem*), I have been sort of busy for the past couple of weeks. It is March and Spring is about to kill all the snow here! What an exciting assumption that all the snow and bitter, cold winds will be gone in just a couple of more days! This is also a perfect remedy to disaster. As most of you don't know, I love shillelaghs! Obviously, I would not bring up such a ridiculous statement unless an important holiday is coming up. I love Ireland and everybody Irish because they are just crazy cool at times. Well, the only explanation for my crazy, floating ideas is the fact that St. Patrick's Day is coming, and the fact that green will be everywhere makes me happy!
From this point on, I am writing this with 3D glasses on my face because I want the words to pop out of this blog! Hah! So, since I need to ask my followers and literate people who read this blog on the most random days(who should be followers) a question, why not make it about something everybody knows about. What is your favorite holiday? What color do you usually associate with this holiday? And, why do you think this holiday represents you as a person today? Woh! Thought provoking questions, Professor Schuck. I know I tend to do that once in awhile when I feel lucky! (Hint, hint!) I want to know more about current events. Did you all hear about the incident in Chile? The earthquake seemed to tilt the Earth so much, that it shortened the days?! Now, I have not heard the complete story why it did that or if it really has done that.
One more crazy thing, did you hear about the glacier that can bleed. It is just a mixture of iron and selenium, but it looks like the glacier is gushing blood! Of course, you might have heard the more common word of what is actually coming out of the glacier. This stuff is called primordial ooze! Woh! Wait a second...I always thought that stuff was fake and only used in movies to describe how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were talking and moving like ninjas. Really! Wait a second, I think they even mention it in the first Power Ranger's movie if I remember correctly. The bad guy was Dr. or Mr. Ooze.
Anyways, those are some geological issues that have recently occurred. What else could I talk about? Something completely random that nobody else will understand where I got the idea from.
Has anyone ever felt the need to dance upside on the couch? It makes since that you would have a comfortable landing if you decide to start dancing on your head. Sure, it takes a couple tries. One thing I want to do is promote this blog more, and then I will start doing more blogs and cool things besides polls. You know what? If I actually get 100 followers, I might make a short video as a congratulations present for you all! How does that sound? I think it would be cool to make a movie and who better to share it with than the followers of my blog!? Every time I try to say for everyone to promote this blog, I lose sight of how to do it. Instead of taking initiative, I fall behind and think that making another blog will bring in a bigger crowd, when I need to self-advertise. Plus, I need some marketing companions that can exploit my blogs to the public! One more thing, if I do get 100 followers, what are the chances that they will all want the book I make? The one with the first 100 blogs I ever made? It sounds crazy, but I think it is possible to create some absolute absurd business in the community, don't you? Of course, I don't want to be a traveling salesman who wants to sell books of Frankenstein to the average household. I want to be a prime suspect for increasing real GDP per capita in the United States. That or just influence and empower others to achieve their dreams no matter how wild they seem. Seems almost like the Buried Life? Good show? Anybody? Anybody? Oh well, I most get going on this promotion thing to make a commitment that sticks.
Everybody hang by your ears. It's easier to listen to gravity.
Rock 'em Sock 'em T-Ralex!

See you all on the rhino's side of the grass. Oh wait, they ate all the grass already.